How to Survive Modern Elections

In a modern world crushed by anxiety, election cycles are unbearable. But that's because the news media and polling companies need to sell a lie - that things are really close and changing every day. But they aren't, they just wouldn't have anything to sell if they didn't say that. I've got elections right for eight years now, and here's my stress free way to do so - with the benefit of you still winning if you lose.